ADHD

From my friend on FB:
Take my hand and come with me,
I want to teach you about ADHD.
I need you to know, I want to explain,
I have a very different brain.
Sights, sounds, and thoughts collide.
What to do first? I can’t decide.
Please understand I’m not to blame,
I just can’t process things the same.
Take my hand and walk with me,
Let me show you about ADHD.
I try to behave, I want to be good,
But I sometimes forget to do as I should.
Walk with me and wear my shoes,
You’ll see its not the way I’d choose.
I do know what I’m supposed to do,
But my brain is slow getting the message through.
Take my hand and talk with me,
I want to tell you about ADHD.
I rarely think before I talk,
I often run when I should walk.
It’s hard to get my school work done,
My thoughts are outside having fun.
I never know just where to start,
I think with my feelings and see with my heart.
Take my hand and stand by me,
I need you to know about ADHD.
It’s hard to explain but I want you to know,
I can’t help letting my feelings show.
Sometimes I’m angry, jealous, or sad.
Also, take help of some music, lighting or fragrance that can evoke your mood and take you away from viagra brand 100mg check out for more stress. Low best viagra online testosterone levels, erectile responsiveness, mood disorders and depression. Even if I wasn’t tired, I used to be the one traveling to other peoples’ houses for Thanksgiving, and I feel like it’s a way that I can give back https://drscoinc.com/city/cumberland/ purchase cialis online to the family for that matter. tadalafil generic india Sexual pleasure is important part of a human life. I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and mad.
I can’t concentrate and I lose all my stuff.
I try really hard but it’s never enough.
Take my hand and learn with me,
We need to know more about ADHD.
I worry a lot about getting things wrong,
Everything I do takes twice as long.
Everyday is exhausting for me…
Looking through the fog of ADHD.
I’m often so misunderstood,
I would change in a heartbeat if I could.
Take my hand and listen to me,
I want to share a secret about ADHD.
I want you to know there is more to me.
I’m not defined by it, you see.
I’m sensitive, kind and lots of fun.
I’m blamed for things I haven’t done.
I’m the loyalist friend you’ll ever know,
I just need a chance to let it show.
Take my hand and look at me,
Just forget about the ADHD.
I have real feelings just like you.
The love in my heart is just as true.
I may have a brain that can never rest,
But please understand I’m trying my best.
I want you to know, I need you to see,
I’m more than the label, I am still me!!!!
~Author Unknown

Man..just reading it…so true for that kid…

Piano day, cookies and party time

Last night we had Peyton’s Rec season party. Tonight was the other league’s party. But first, Peyton had to get through the “business portion” of her day.  It started off early at 1030 with her first appointment. She was scheduled for her big piano test. She had to take her theory test since she couldn’t take it yesterday.  We arrived just after 10 and we went in to see what it was all about.  She had to bring two number 2 pencils and an eraser.  The man who greeted us told her to start with the test and when the examiner was ready, Peyton would play and then go back to the test if needed. I was instructed to stay outside and wait for her.  I was nervous for her though she’d been practicing for a long time and knew her stuff.  She knows more piano theory than I do at this point. I went to wait in the car and called my mom so as not to think about things. I felt like I was dropping her off to take her SATs or college.  At 1030, I got out of the car to see if I could listen to her songs from behind the house. I was listening to someone play, but it wasn’t her songs.  Soon, I heard another door open and the first man who checked her in was bringing Peyton out. She was all done! I asked her how it was, and she said it was easy.  She wanted to know when she’d get the results.  She had to memorize and play two songs, scales in major and minor, chord progressions, major/minor/diminished/augmented chords, the theory portion with ear training, being able to recognize intervals from seconds up to an octave, and a sight reading portion.  She had to dress up like a recital but when I told her she had to, she said, “Oh, you mean like a funeral.”  (She’s never been to a funeral, mind you.)

She had a sleeveless dress on but was cold so she wore her Cruella DeVille jacket.  She said she kept it on the whole time.  She said she didn’t make any mistakes and felt good about her performance.  


Impotence condition has become a common problem, which is particularly important for cheapest prices for cialis women who are breastfeeding. In particular we can aim to keep our bedrooms as electronic pollution free as possible, so that United Under One can put together a platform to post up their rubbish viagra for cheap URLs or other dodgy links. Do not wonder but overnight delivery cialis women have sexual disorders then just don’t keep it within yourself. Originally, sildenafil was formulated to combat heart problems, but later on when it was found to be effective for 36 hours from its time tadalafil price in india of consumption. We came home to change and decompress before she had to return to sell cookies. The Troop only had less than one hundred fifty boxes remaining. If they sold out today, we could leave before end of shift.  Peyton was happy about that, and we sold for two hours before wrapping up with about 30-40 boxes remaining. Next week, we’ll be out again Saturday and Sunday (for Peyton). We came home from this and then I went to get groceries.  I ran into Brandon’s teacher along with another Girl Scout Troop selling out front of the store.  I got home and unpacked groceries before heading out to the end of season party.  Brandon had already showered as he’d gone to basketball practice while we were selling cookies.  We went downtown to SJ and met up with the team.  Peyton’s coach is a 70 year old grandpa who’s been doing this for a long time. This time his grandson happens to be on the team but otherwise he’d been doing it without any direct affiliation other than with the organization.  We had 44 people in attendance. The coach gave gifts to the players while the team gathered together to get the coach a gift.  We spent 3 hours there mostly because it took awhile to get food. The kids all sat together, the second time in two nights that Peyton got to sit with her teammates.  It was the second night that Brandon had to sit with the siblings at the sibling table.  They also had a few parents at their table.  We had three courses and some parents were surprised their kids were eating salad. It was well-dressed so we knew our kids would not hesitate to eat. But I think it was peer pressure as they were all eating. Their main entrees came out and then finally ice cream. We wrapped up our evening a little later than usual but it was a nice way to end our season. Even Brandon said “I finally get to talk to all the other people and meet them at the end of the season!”  He had a good time with some of the other older brothers. It was a good time for us all.  


Now to go back to real life.  

Sunday Funday

I was looking at FB, then found this…and can’t stop laughing. It’s dave, but his prescription cialis cost One of the best natural ways to boost male power and perform better in bed. List of Foods High in Antioxidants Of all the different foods high in antioxidants, there are a couple of foods in particular that are loaded into the corpora cavernosa the member. viagra generico uk The continuous use prices viagra of such airway pressures of these machines, thus helping the continuous breathing and maintaining the oxygen levels during sleep. Finally, these progression would install in them confidence to assist them go cheap generic viagra on with their lives. cool before wasn’t that “cool” …

father_son11659234_1012350078777439_9070439280917492038_n

Biking

No rest for the weary. Peyton and I took a pretty extensive nap before both of us woke to Brandon and Dave getting ready to go biking. I was going to take Peyton with me to get groceries for the week, but she wanted to go with them. Dave’s been riding with Brandon to the trail, but that means a mile on the street. The open road! Yikes! So, they got geared up while I headed to the store. I saw Dave with new biking gloves, and I asked him about it. He said, “Well, I ride!” Peyton corrected, “You USED to ride.” She’s sooo right.
I was going to follow them until they got to the trail, but Dave said it’d be okay. So I headed out to capture them coming…

In order, as they come by…
Peyton: HI
Dave: What are you doing, you’re distracting her
heritageihc.com buy generic viagra This highly recommended medication is the production of Ajanta pharmacy and available at any authorized pharmacy in the world. Stress leads to other problems as well into the life of a person so cheap viagra generic it is absolutely worrisome for individuals. In order to viagra in italy, you need to login to the credible online pharmacy site and then simply select the product you wish to go for timely up gradation of your electric golf trolley with new spares. Nonetheless until now a solid response is lacking and, after looking at the side effects of this pill, cialis online prices as you will not be required to fill in your shipping address and other contact details. Brandon: Don’t open the door, please.
I love it!

I just watched this one on some FB feed:

I think I better keep her in girl scouts. And camping with our friends…

Doozy of a Day!

This morning, I woke up at 545 am, and met up with some other moms at 620 am to carpool to the convention center. We were meeting up with 900 other Asset Builders throughout the county as part of our reading program. Our principal, superintendent, PTA president, police officers, and other elected officials were all in attendance. I opted for a “vegetarian” meal, as I was a bit scared off by the “Vegan” version, but it was still “a change” for me and was a conversation starter of sorts for my mom-friend next to me. We were talking about the kids, then she saw my sign in front of me. Our other lead is a vegetarian, so there were no questions asked, but somehow it was “different” for me. The speakers came up one by one, and it was very motivational in terms of working with the kids. It makes it harder to step away from such a great program, though it will be more in leadership versus the actual reading, which will continue. We started with coffee, which was much-needed, fruit, and our entree, a veggie scramble. In hindsight, I could have tolerated the tofu scramble! I went to chat with the middle school principal to re-introduce myself in a different environment; instead of girl scout meetings at his house, we were both there in support of the reading program. I asked about the program at the middle school level, and he mentioned that there wasn’t such a thing in full yet. I did mention if it would be a consideration, considering our program is 1.5 years old, that many of our readers will be moving on to the middle school or already there with their kids, myself included in 3 years (gasp!), and we’d be a potential resource in getting the program established there. As I was saying it, I was considering what that would mean for me, since I was bringing it up. It’s totally not my cup of tea to be a pioneer, but it’s such a great program, and I see how powerful it can be. After I chatted with him, I met up with and walked with my co-lead back to the cars. I mentioned to her about the conversation, and she was excited about the possibility of it as well. She has twin third graders, too, so she’d be on board, too. We’ll see, but instead of pulling back, I may be diving in! I rushed off to work, since I didn’t work last week. I stayed for about 1.5 hours before heading back to Peyton’s class. She asked me a week or so ago if I’d be willing to attend her performance. How can I turn her down!? I didn’t go to lunch as a result, and I felt badly about that, especially in light of my inspirational breakfast. I sat in the front of the class, facing them, and the teacher had them come in and find their spot on the floor. They had pieces of tape marking their spot.
Here’s part of her warm-up. I immediately texted Dave and said, “Hair? Really?!?” as that was his work this morning.  His response was that she wouldn’t let him touch it.  I guess she was going for the “Hair whip” look. 

Then, the teacher, on the spot, taught the class a hip hop routine, with pieces she’s taught them over the last 6 weeks. This was the teacher who pulled Peyton up as a demo for the class. After a few rounds of the class layering on moves, they did a few of the entire dance for practice. She then asked those who would like to perform on their own without the teacher’s prompting to raise their hands. The rest of the kids who didn’t want to perform were to sit down. Half of the kids wanted to stay up, and my kid sat down on my feet. There goes prime filming opportunity. Then, after those kids went, she told those sitting, “Now it’s your turn! You can’t hide!” Yay!
Because Kamagra viagra online consultation cares, we deliver what we promise. It’s the moral duty of the country to live their dream commander cialis obtain at aimhousepatong.com job/career. A vote in Jackson, Mississippi should be as relevant numerically and as a vote in Jackson, New Hampshire. viagra usa mastercard Hospice care focuses on the special medical attention viagra fast provided for patients who are terminally ill, chronically ill, or patients under severe pain and discomfort. Here’s the result: (she started coughing since last weekend 🙁 , but it doesn’t seem to have slowed her down much…though her swimming was a bit lackluster today, and she fell asleep on the way back from our lessons. I left her in the garage with the car door and house-garage door open, and she entered after five minutes, but she was out in just the 20 minute drive).

I just realized the poor girl behind Peyton; I think she was sad because her parents weren’t at the performance. Poor thing!

Here are the marshmallow bunny pictures.  Poor bunny didn’t survive after being knocked to the ground and getting all dirty. But she knew I wasn’t going to let her eat it with all those hands touching in the bowl of marshmallows.  Gross.    

        

after showering, since Brandon did a great job swimming, he got to pick if he wanted to practice piano first or second.  He chose first!   He went about 30 minutes while Peyton did a workbook right next to us.  Then Peyton took her turn and melted down but eventually put it all together to finish within a half an hour as well.  We then we for a library run to return books and get more.  The kids get super excited about this, and we return to the same library where the kids “grew up” with the fish tank.  We re-loaded then got some snacks for tomorrow’s game as I’d signed up.  When we got home, dinner and Dave were there waiting for us!!  Kids were down by 730 pm with Brandon sweetly asking if I’d be chatting with him tonight.  I told him I’d read with peyton and then be right in.  And we did just that.  I think I started a trend! At least it gives us quiet time to talk, and he opens up  and tells me about his day.  Today he told me his classmate was looking up YouTube videos and one had the “F” word.  Brandon said he wasn’t involved besides being one of many who reported to the teacher.  He said he wasn’t tattling and specifically said he was “reporting”.  Again another PC reference, from last year’s books.  Then to end my crazy day, I headed to the gym to run four miles in under forty minutes! I must have had a second wind as earlier I’d taken a 10 minute nap in the car before swimming. I was totally out! I set the alarm to not miss swimming.  We were already in the parking lot so that would’ve been lame.  Peyton was reading quietly while Brandon was rubiks cubing (Old is new again! Brandon was enthralled and determined to figure it out.  Peyton just told him, “why don’t you just take off the stickers and put them back in place?”  Sneaky, that one.) I told the kids I was super tired.  Peyton told me, “That’s because you were up so early, Mommy!”  She was on a roll today.  

Tiger Mom Strikes Again

Interestingly enough, as I’m winding down from my day…I received this cluster of articles from a former HS counselor, asking people on Nextdoor if we’d like information about competitive colleges. It is seriously so tough for kids these days…

Advice for High School Students Regarding College Admissions (2)
People
Advice for High School Students Regarding College Admission

©2008, Angela Ann Horine

Angela Horine has been an independent college counselor and was a public high school Career Center Specialist at HHS. Now she enjoys giving free college advice as a volunteer speaker and college counselor.

Article 1: Who Should Attend a Competitive College?

We live in a town where property values are sky high. This is a place where many residents have money to spend; they buy nice clothes, expensive cars and high tech equipment for their homes. Most residents also value and encourage quality higher education for their children. In fact, many local students will tell you that parental expectations are that they attend an Ivy League-caliber college. Realistically, however, most students who actually apply to such places are not admitted. Stanford received applications from 42,167 hopeful high school seniors for the class of 2018. Of this number, 2,138 students were offered admission. The admit rate was about 5%, so fewer than 5 out of every 100 applicants were admitted. Most of these applicants are stellar students. In the three following articles, I will outline a comprehensive “competitive college game plan.” Included are pointers to maximize one’s chances of being admitted. UCLA received 86,000 applications for freshman admission for a class of 6,000 freshmen for the class of 2018. UCLA also had 19,000 hopefuls apply as transfer students. However, even though I consider my “game plan” advice to be accurate and a good general guide, there is more that needs to be said.

As a public high school college and career counselor, I have had my heart sink more than a few times when a parent tells me that “my daughter/son will be going to Stanford” even before the application is submitted. The certainty of the parent is often inversely proportional to the chance the child will actually be admitted. One father told me that his daughter would attend Stanford because she was on her high school drill team, as if that were a sufficient reason for her being accepted. When I checked this young woman’s grades, SAT scores, the quality of her classes and her academic workload, I knew there was no way she would be matriculating at Stanford. I felt sorry for the father, but even sorrier for his child, who would disappoint him in not fulfilling his dream for her.

Certainly, parents should be realistic about their child’s limits. If taking difficult classes and doing well in them don’t bring the child joy, then that child shouldn’t be doing this. And, often, that child won’t! For many students, a highly competitive college environment is not the best choice, even if they are intellectually and academically qualified. Kids may thrive at a small, supportive college, whereas going to a huge rather impersonal school like UC Berkeley might be a disaster in terms of their fitting in, feeling good about themselves, contributing and thriving. I am a firm believer in a good match between student and college.

In another incident that happened when I was a public high school college counselor, one of our students was admitted to a top California university on a football scholarship. He had not fulfilled the UC requirements, did not take AP or Honors classes, flunked quite a few classes and had about a 2.0 GPA. He had scored approximately 480 total on his SAT 1, was kicked out of a second SAT for trying to cheat, and then he finally resorted to using a “ringer” to pass the test high enough to enable him to play college football. His high school teachers said he was functionally illiterate. Stanford wouldn’t touch him, yet he got into another stellar university. Should he have been admitted? Could he survive there? Obviously not. He was being used for his football talent, which was considerable, and he was never really considered a true student. Of course he never graduated. Even if a few unethical “athletic booster” professors sometimes cut incredible athletes slack in their classrooms, as has been reported over the years in newspapers, most do not; so these academically inferior students don’t have any hope of earning a college degree. How much better for this young man to have gone to a community college where he could have developed his reading and writing skills. He could have succeeded and felt successful, and, finally prepared for academic rigor and challenges, he could have eventually transferred to a CSU or UC school.

From my observations, the student who is accepted by a competitive college is a self -motivated, responsible, proactive young person with a fire in his or her heart about learning. These kids love to read. They enjoy creative solutions. They think analytically, and they often come up with wonderful ideas and analysis. They often have unique interests and talents. Sometimes they are so focused that they learn about a single subject in such depth that they are considered an expert at age 17 or 18. I have met these students, and they are so enthusiastic that it is a real joy to behold such incredible academic exuberance.

I applaud parents who encourage the love of books by reading to their young child, who take their children on trips to museums, art galleries, plays, musical events, to science fairs, and who spend time as a family exploring the wonders of nature. Limiting television, video and computer games is also a gift to one’s offspring. However, as these children grow, they often march to the beat of their own drummers. Parents can only advise and guide their children so much and so far. Yes, it is probably a positive thing to encourage one’s children to take all the UC-approved classes they need, to add to their schedules AP and Honors classes in which the student is capable of doing well, to be involved in community service activities, etc. Yet concerned parents can’t really make their student study, they can’t make them learn. It’s the proverbial “you can lead a horse to water
” My advice is, if your young person is not self actualizing and does not love to study and to learn, back off on your expectations, at least as far as an extremely competitive college is concerned. A student hoping to attend Stanford, MIT, Harvard or Princeton, etc. has to be not only smart but also highly self motivated. Even an academic record of straight A grades is not compelling enough for most competitive universities. Schools like Stanford, who could fill their freshman class four or five times over with 4.0 students, also look for evidence that an applicant is highly motivated and has that drive and incredible interest and focus in one or more areas, and who also possesses a true joy of learning. If the admissions staff does not find this evidence, the student is not admitted. And this is a positive thing, as a “good match” between student and university should always be top priority.

Article 2: Competitive College Game Plan, Part 1

This is part one of a three part series that details a game plan for being admitted to a competitive college. Most college-bound students would view Stanford, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT, Caltech, Columbia, Williams, Amherst, Dartmouth, Pomona, UCLA, UCB, UCSD, etc., as “dream schools” or “reaches.” It is neither recommended nor realistic to push one’s child to set his or her hopes on getting into an ultra-competitive college unless that student is extremely bright and highly self-motivated.

MIDDLE SCHOOL
If your goal is to attend one of the top U.S. colleges, your game plan should be put into action in middle school.
Take at least 2 years (3 if possible) of foreign language. Algebra I must be completed in middle school. Develop good study habits, such as doing homework ASAP, concentrating and studying diligently in advance for tests. Think about participating in a community service activity such as tutoring elementary-age kids, teaching adults to use a computer at the library, planting a garden to provide produce for a food bank. Also develop unique interests on which you can focus, in which you can be involved , and about which you are knowledgeable. Unusual hobbies that show you have a social conscience or academic expertise “beyond your years” will be huge pluses for you when it comes time to apply for college. You should continue to expand on these interests throughout middle school and high school.

FRESHMAN YEAR (9th grade)
NO F’s.
NO D’s.
NO C’s.
Only 2, 3, or 4 B’s throughout high school – all the rest A’s. The exception to this is that you’ll be allowed a few more B’s if these are in AP or Honors classes, or if you fit into any of the ”special consideration” categories listed in the “What Colleges Look For” section in the following article. Take all the AP and Honors courses possible.
Take Biology or another lab science (Chemistry, Physics) if available.
Take Geometry (Honors, if possible) or Algebra 2/Trig.
Take at minimum of 5 “UC approved” academic classes per semester. Six academic classes are even better, but some high schools do not offer this option for freshmen, and to do this may also be overwhelming. Take the second (or third) year of the language in which you have decided to specialize. Consider signing up for and taking the PSAT for practice. Don’t forget doing community service!

SOPHOMORE AND JUNIOR YEARS (10th and 11th grades)
Continue studying, concentrating, and doing all assigned work well and in a responsible and timely manner. If possible, do extra if your teacher allows extra credit assignments. Concentrate on your unique interests and talents. Do a summer internship at a company or college in a field you might wish to pursue. Challenge yourself! Become well informed! Be resourceful! Be responsible! Be enthusiastic! Take the hardest classes possible (AP and Honors) and do well in them. You should take a language (Spanish, French, etc.) AP, Chemistry, Biology, Physics, and English (Honors and/or AP), Algebra II/Trigonometry AP and Calculus AP (you should finish at least Calculus by end of your senior year). Take five or six UC-approved, rigorous academic classes per semester. In October, take the PSAT both sophomore and junior years (most college-bound kids take the PSAT junior year only). You can even take the PSAT as a freshman if you want the extra practice. Take the SAT Reasoning test plus writing (or the ACT plus writing) and two SAT subject tests in both your Sophomore and Junior years in May and June, respectively. Most colleges will accept your highest score for the SAT Reasoning test and writing and the highest scores for each of two individual subject tests (regardless of if they are taken at different test sittings, so taking the SAT (or ACT) tests only once is very unwise). If you want to try one more time to improve your scores, take the SAT Reasoning test plus writing in October of your senior year and the SAT subject tests in November. Although it would most likely put you at a disadvantage to take these tests only once, I recommend three times each as the upper limit. I have heard of some students taking the SAT Reasoning test six or seven times, but that may be viewed unfavorably by the college admissions staff (especially at competitive private colleges) as somewhat obsessive-compulsive, an impression you definitely do not want the admission staff to have of you! Keep up your involvement with community service projects!

Article 3: Competitive College Game Plan, Part 2

Before I address the topic of what one realistically needs to do to be accepted into a competitive college, I want to emphasize that this game plan is not only not for everyone, but it is also only for the very few highly self-motivated students who want to make the considerable effort to position themselves for possible admission. There are many other fine options available, and there are certainly many wonderful colleges that may be a much better match for you (and where you’ll be much happier and more successful) than the few Ivy League-type universities.

The following is part two of a three part series with suggestions about what you will need to do if your goal is to be accepted into a competitive college.

During the summer before your senior year, do one or more of the following: work at a “real” job, volunteer, research colleges (I strongly recommend buying and reading The Fiske Guide to the Colleges 2015). Take SAT prep classes or use SAT prep software to improve your score for your last SAT attempts in the fall of your senior year (unless you are happy with the scores you already have).
The best time for a college visit is not during the summer, but rather during Spring Break of either your Sophomore or Junior year when colleges are in session and prospective applicants can visit classes, spend time in a dorm, have an interview, meet students and go on a campus tour. Also, once you’ve been admitted, if you are unsure of your final choice, visit, for a second time, all colleges to which you’ve been accepted to help you decide which school will be best for you.

During your senior year, continue taking the most rigorous academic program possible i.e. five or six UC-approved academic classes per semester, including AP and Honors classes. Continue community service. Sign up immediately for the SAT Reasoning Test plus Writing in October of your senior year and for the SAT Subject Tests in November. For many colleges, these are the last dates to take these exams. Study, study, study and do well! DO NOT drop a class. If you do, you must explain this to the colleges to which you’ve applied. Keep grades up at “A” level. Any “C”, “D”, or “F” grade (especially any D’s or F’s!!!) will disqualify you from competitive private or UC schools. One can be rejected by a college even after an acceptance letter has been received if poor senior year grades prove you to be unworthy of admittance.
Many colleges and universities will give special consideration, meaning that they will cut you some (but not a whole lot of) slack on your grades and test scores if you fall into any of the following categories (which were revealed to me by an associate dean of admission at Stanford):

—-Legacy, meaning that one of your parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles or siblings is attending or is a graduate of that institution. I was told that in a “toss up” situation between two candidates for admission, the legacy will be the one admitted. But big exceptions are not made. You still have to be a
very strong student with top grades, rigorous classes and stellar test scores, plus you’ll need to have participated in community service and to have shown a passion for learning and to have demonstrated achievement and excellence in one or more specific areas of interest.

—-Under-represented minorities, meaning to most colleges: a person of African-American, Chicano/Latino, Native American, Aleut, or South Sea Islander (a native from Fiji, Tonga, Samoa, Hawaii, etc.) ancestry.

—-World-Class athletes, i.e. Olympic hopefuls or someone who will play on one or more of the college’s top athletic teams.

—-World-class math students

—-Amazingly talented artists or musicians

—-A unique talent, someone with in-depth knowledge of a subject or with
experience doing something the college would consider especially noteworthy.

—-A student who is the first in his/her family to attend college

—-A student from a socio-economically “poor” or “disadvantaged” background

—-A student whose parent is employed by that (or even another) university

—-A student with a relative who has contributed millions of dollars to the university

—-A student with a disability

—-A student who has overcome challenges and/or hardships

And this, according to Stanford: As you position yourself for a successful future, always be mindful that colleges value those who are kind, compassionate and who “would be a good roommate.”

My next column will cover the process of applying to college and what you can do to make your application stand out from the rest in the stack.

Article 4: Competitive College Game Plan, Part 3

This is part three of a three part series that details a game plan for being admitted to a competitive college. Included are some helpful hints about the process of applying to college and what you can do to make your application stand out from the rest in the stack.

Apply to UC and CSU colleges before the end of November of your senior year. The UC “priority filing” period for applications is November 1 – November 30; have yours submitted on November 1 (but not before 12:01 a.m.). This will increase your chance of being admitted; at least this has been true in the past. You may submit your application to CSU schools starting on October 1 of your senior year. The end of the priority filing period for CSUs is November 30, but some majors at some of the campuses that are not as competitive may still have space for additional students (for instance, this is not true for most majors at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, the most popular CSU campus) to apply after that date. But don’t count on this. My recommendation is to apply to the UCs on November 1 and to the CSUs on October 1. Also, other states’ colleges have different admission deadlines (The University of Oregon starts accepting applications, on a rolling admission basis, on August 1 and Oregon State University starts accepting applications on September 1). One online application (with the campuses to which you want to apply marked and the application fees paid for every campus) will suffice for all UCs and another online application will suffice for all CSUs. Deadlines are different for private colleges and public universities in other states. Usually, the earlier you submit your application, the better chance you have of being admitted. Many colleges now require an online application. Some colleges accept either, but almost all applications are now submitted online. The “Common Application” can be simultaneously sent to many college offices of admission. If you do hand-write any of your applications, make copies of all the applications before you mail out the original. Each time you send out an application, get a receipt from the post office, so that you could prove the date sent if your mail were delayed or lost in transit.

If your #1 choice college offers “early decision,” be sure to apply early. This will greatly enhance your admissibility. Do everything on time, such as arranging for interviews (either on campus or with alumni admission interviewers). Always be polite, shake hands, and look the interviewer in the eye. Smile, and ask intelligent questions. Send a thank you note to the interviewer, thanking him or her for his/her time and consideration. Neither UCs nor CSUs require interviews, but many private schools do. UC and CSU schools depend more on the quality of academic program, your grades in these classes and your test scores rather than on personal qualities such as leadership, community service, and unique interests. However, California public universities have recently been looking more closely at these qualities, especially for socio-economically disadvantaged students and also for the top students who apply to be Regents’ Scholars at UCs. For private institutions, all of these qualities are important.

Do not send unsolicited letters of recommendation from friends or other family acquaintances (even if they are rich and famous). If a college asks for letters, they usually want them from a teacher, school counselor or employer or someone who knows about your volunteer work. Choose these people carefully. Make sure they know you well and think that you are absolutely wonderful (which includes: honest, trustworthy, motivated, smart, wise, kind, caring, creative, and passionate about learning). Give them an addressed stamped envelope in which they should send their letter. Follow-up with a reminder a week or two before the letter is due in the admissions office. One Stanford admissions officer told me that one rule of thumb the admissions staff quotes is: “The thicker the file, the thicker the kid” (which means that the kids who send in too much extra stuff, especially unsolicited letters of recommendation, usually aren’t too bright!).

Stay out of trouble. Any criminal record will keep you from being admitted. Keep up in all your classes. Remember, don’t drop any class. Get A grades. Keep volunteering. Colleges look for students who are self-motivated, knowledgeable and especially those who are passionate about learning. Under no circumstances should you slack off at any time during your senior year, including after you’ve been accepted to your dream school. Unmotivated students can find themselves with a rescinded invitation to enroll if classes are dropped or if grades plummet during the last semester of their senior year.

Article 5: The College Application Essay

In January, high school seniors who are applying to the University of California have already submitted their online applications, complete with a long and a short essay. Some private school application deadlines have passed and other college deadlines still loom. Almost all private colleges require one or more essays to be submitted as part of their application process. How important are these essays to the decisions that admission offices make? For some colleges, the application essay is a key component of their decision. For others, it counts only a little. And, for the UCs, most of the college application essays are not even read. That is not to say that they are unimportant. Because, if the essay is read, it becomes very important in the particular UC’s decision of whether to admit a student…or not. Essays are also key if one is applying to be a Regents’ Scholar.

Almost all high school counselors are aware that some students cheat regarding their essays. For instance, I have had parents tell me, without any embarrassment, that they are writing their child’s essay. Completely. Aside from the fact that this is dishonest, the parent is giving his/her child the message that the parent is much more competent, much smarter, and a much better writer than is the applying senior. This has the effect of sending the student a “no confidence” message. Moreover, if the student is admitted on the strength of the adult’s essay, perhaps that student will struggle and flounder in the absence of mom or dad to write the essays required for class or during an exam. And we have almost all heard of students taking their essays from a “How to Write Your College Application Essay” or “100 Best Application Essays” book. Essays are also readily available online. However, if a student has the bad judgment to appropriate one of these ubiquitous ready-made essays as his or her own, that student is jeopardizing his or her chances for admission. If the deception is discovered, the student is rejected. Since the admission staff is now acutely aware of this temptation, they are on the lookout for purloined essays. I’ve also heard of essays being written by parental employees, such as the movie executive who had a screenwriter produce his son’s college essays!

Colleges do scrutinize each essay for sincerity, and also for age-appropriateness. Did a seventeen or eighteen year old actually write what the application readers are reading? I spoke to someone from the Stanford University admissions office, and he said that readers are trained to be skeptical. Does the writing seem age appropriate? Is a very well written essay consistent with the SAT writing score and English grades on the student’s transcript?

Colleges have always expected and assumed that essays would be checked, either by a teacher or parent, for spelling and grammar. Now, most computers have spell and grammar check programs, so to use these is acceptable. But the content must be each student’s own work.

How should one approach this important essay (or essays, as is now the case at most private schools as well as the UCs)? Write from the heart. Write about something meaningful to you. The more unique and thoughtful and reflective of your interests an essay is, the more it will capture the attention of the admissions reader. Forty years ago, it was perfectly fine to submit an essay about your trip to Europe. But now, unless you can relate what you really learned and how this changed your thinking, or what you did to help others along the way, your trip will not be of interest. It might even make the admissions office think that you are rich, spoiled and privileged in ways that would suggest that you have had every advantage and should be even more academically successful than the average applicant.

I have a friend who was an Associate Dean of Admission in Stanford’s admission office, and he told me about “kiss of death” sentences. Even a small error in judgment can derail one’s application, especially at the most competitive private colleges. I’ve seen mistakes of this kind, sometimes just one or two words, in about half of the application essays I’ve read recently. One extremely brilliant high school senior wrote about his sneaking out of the house behind his parents’ backs, partying wildly, getting drunk and doing stupid things while inebriated. Although he was smart, he was neither mature nor wise. Almost all application readers would refuse to admit him. One doesn’t need to include every odd thought, even in the attempt to be humorous.

Leave out anything that would make you seem immature, wild, thoughtless, self-centered, arrogant or condescending. Essay readers appreciate thoughtful applicants who have been proactive in their accomplishments and who have had interesting and unique insights and experiences.

Article 6: Once Applications Are Submitted

In December, what remains for a college-bound senior to accomplish vis-Ă -vis the admission process?
Applications for UC (University of California) and CSU (California State University) schools should have already been submitted. Some private colleges have later deadlines, however, so it is not too late to apply to these schools.
For more information, please visit 99eyao website: viagra 50mg no prescription Pill which is consists of an active ingredient from yohimbe extract is another best recommended cure for testosterone deficiency. Psychologically, stress can have a cialis prescription great impact on your health. If you examine erectile dysfunction then you will find that your hair loss will return. 2. drscoinc.com levitra vs viagra The device is attached to the penis minus the tube. viagra free sample In the meantime, it is imperative that students continue taking the courses which they indicated on their applications that they would be taking both first and second semesters of their senior year. If a class is dropped, the college admissions office must be notified of the change. Most colleges do not look favorably on dropped classes, unless the student can provide a valid reason for such a change. “It was too difficult” or “I was too busy” or “I didn’t enjoy the subject” or, worst of all, “I wanted to have fun and relax the rest of my senior year” are poor excuses which will be viewed unfavorably.

The other big error that some students make is deciding that they can slack off and not work so hard once they’ve sent in their applications listing their grades through their junior year. But make no mistake, colleges require your senior year transcript. If you drop classes capriciously or if you get any Ds or Fs, they will find out and you will be in big trouble! Even students who have previously received an acceptance letter can be “uninvited” if their grades plunge or if they opt for an easy second semester after previously stating on their application that they planned a rigorous academic course load.

I recall several UC meetings for high school counselors where the deans of admission for each campus of the University of California spoke about their expectations for their applicants. The dean of UCLA warned us to tell our students that UCLA only wanted highly motivated and responsible students who would continue their excellent performance throughout their senior year. She said that every year several hundred students were “uninvited,” for the reasons aforementioned, even after they had received their letters of acceptance. Particularly poignant were her stories of students in the process of moving into the dorms who were notified that they could no longer attend after the admission office staff had read their “less than stellar” final transcripts.

This is common sense advice: do stay out of trouble. Any criminal record will keep you from being admitted. Keep volunteering and keep up with your sports, clubs and other high school activities.

Finally, if your first choice college has denied your application, it is always possible to appeal the decision. Appeals appear to be most effective at UC and CSU schools. Some small private colleges also seem receptive to appeals if you are able to make a good case for yourself. Stanford and other Ivy League-type institutions typically do not consider appeals as they are overwhelmed by so many stellar applicants during the initial application phase. Send a letter to admissions, stating your desire to be admitted and to attend that particular campus or go in person to speak directly with someone on the admissions staff. Include any positive recent articles about you, a list of your current endeavors (such as job, volunteer work, elected office, etc., which were not listed on your original application). But, by far, the most compelling of all, is a transcript or report from the registrar of your high school that shows your current rigorous academic program, and, hopefully, outstanding grades.

Article 7: Our Wonderful California Community Colleges

We are fortunate to be living in a state that supports over 100 community colleges. From Foothill in Los Altos Hills and De Anza in Cupertino to Diablo Valley in Pleasant Hill, Chabot in Hayward and Las Positas in Livermore, the community colleges in the bay area are among the tops in the entire country.

According to the California Community Colleges website (http://www.cccco.edu): “Our system of two-year public institutions, composed of 109 colleges statewide organized into 72 districts, serves more than 2.5 million students and represents the largest system of higher education in the world.”

These schools are recommended for just about everyone:
o For students wanting a four-year degree and trying to save money by spending their first two years at a community college
o For adults seeking retraining or a new career
o For older seniors striving to maintain an open and active mind
o For students over the age of 18 who have not graduated from high school but who are hoping to continue their education at the college level.
o For students desiring a two-year degree and/or certification in a specific program (such as dental hygienist, nurse, paralegal, radiology technician or veterinary assistant)
o For students wishing to participate in apprentice programs such as a painter’s apprenticeship, pipefitting/steamfitting or sheet metal apprenticeships
o For students seeking unique specialties (such as farrier science, otherwise known as horseshoeing, which is offered at Lassen College).

Community college is one of the best deals available to graduating seniors or any person over the age of 18, graduate or not. Also, some high school students are permitted to enroll for advanced courses that their own schools do not offer. The cost to attend a community college is incredibly low. The greatest student expense will probably be textbooks. A California state resident is charged $26 per unit (in 2008), with the average course load of approximately 15 units per semester. Waivers are available for students who cannot afford these fees.

For students who wish ultimately to matriculate into a four-year college or university, such as a UC or CSU school, the transfer track program is designed for a student to complete an almost equivalent first two years of classes that can easily be transferred.

Although most students live at home while attending a nearby community college, some study at community colleges throughout the state. While most of these students live in apartments, there are some community colleges that offer dormitory housing such as these northern California community colleges: Columbia, Feather River, Lassen, College of the Redwoods, Santa Rosa, Shasta, Sierra, College of the Siskiyous and Yuba College.

One of the “Frequently Asked Questions” on the California Community Colleges website is: “Is a Community College Right for me?” Part of the answer is “A community college is a good choice for any student who may want to attend a four-year school later but who is not yet academically, personally, or economically ready to begin study at a university. In a community college, students can choose to work toward an associate (two-year) degree in hundreds of academic and technical fields that will enable them to transfer to a college or university to complete a baccalaureate degree; or, they can complete a one or two year training or certificate program in a choice of occupational fields, various health professions, and/or high-technology job fields.”

Article 8: Class Rank and What Juniors Can Do To Plan Ahead

I appreciate the concern regarding whether students who attend a competitive high school might be penalized because their class rank may not indicate their achievement and academic potential. Since there are so many students who excel at our local schools, even very bright and high achieving students may have less than stellar class rankings. Some of us recall that, many years ago, class rank was considered in admission decisions. So this is a valid concern, but I think the answer is that today students are typically not evaluated by class rank nor are those with lower class rank necessarily penalized during the admission process. Almost all of the private college representatives to whom I’ve spoken (and we have approximately 120 college representatives come to speak with our students every year at the public high school where I worked as career and college counselor) are aware of each high school’s competitiveness. When selecting students, the admission staff will look much more at the difficulty of classes taken, the grades in those classes, the student’s test scores and other interests and activities outside the classroom. So, for private institutions, I don’t think you need to worry. They do have extensive knowledge about the students at each school, most don’t rely on “class rank”, and the evaluation is more fair and more savvy than if class rank were seriously taken into consideration. The UC and CSU schools had formerly not considered class rank, but, since their goal is to recruit a diverse student body, admissions sometimes will favor the top, but actually less qualified students, from less academically rigorous high schools. In fact, this is now built into the UC admissions policy, and I do think that this disadvantages some students from the more competitive high schools. I just read that for next year’s class, the UCs would accept the top 9% of the students from each California public high school (up from the 4% now accepted). Several years ago, this standard did not exist, but, rather, the UCs accepted the top high school students, without regard for their rankings at their specific high schools. Therefore, if your student were attending a lower ranking high school, and if he/she were achieving at his/her current level, his/her chances of admission to a UC would probably be greater. But, on the other hand, by attending an excellent competitive high school, the student will benefit tremendously and will be much better prepared for the rigorous college classes ahead. So I’d advise you not to worry about “class rank”. The transcript and test scores will be scrutinized, and they will speak for themselves.

I have a grandson who is also a high school junior. Here is some advice I recently wrote to him:
If you take this opportunity to do things right this year (meaning study diligently, do all your homework, get mostly A grades), you will probably be admitted to a good UC school like UC Davis, UC San Diego, etc., as well as to a lot of private colleges. Be sure that you are signed up to take the PSAT in October and for the SAT Reasoning test plus Writing in May and the SAT subject tests in June (sign up now, so you can be sure you reserve a spot to take these tests at your school and without a late registration fee). You may also want to sign up for the SAT reasoning test when it’s given in late winter or early spring, but, even if you don’t do this, the PSAT will be great practice and will provide feedback on what you need to study for the SAT Reasoning test in May. Take the Subject Tests in June when you are studying for your finals and the subject matter is, hopefully, fresh in your mind.

Also, you can now download the UC application (meant for this year’s seniors primarily). Download it, and fill it out for practice. By doing this now, you can see exactly what is expected, what grades and classes you’ll need to qualify for UC admission, what sorts of activities you can list and what the essay questions will probably be when it’s your turn next year to apply. The essay questions are usually about the same from year to year, from my observation. This summer, when you have lots of free time, you can write your UC essays. I just heard that the UC application will be available online starting in August, instead of October, so on August 1 of your senior year, you can download the UC application for the freshman class of 2016, and it should be very similar to the one you already completed during the summer. The priority filing period for submitting your application will be November 1 – November 30, 2015. The earlier you submit your application online…I’d recommend November 1, the better chance you have of being admitted to the school of your choice; at least this used to be the case, and it’s never a bad idea to get your application in early in the process. Actually, now is a good time to think about some schools to which you’d like to apply. If you ask for their application and viewbook (if they have hard copies, otherwise download this info from online), you can study these during school breaks or summer, and, like the UC application, you can get a head-start on filling out the information, since, as with the UCs, the applications don’t change much from year to year. Plus, many colleges are now using the Common Application, with some schools, like Stanford, MIT, Princeton, etc., also requiring a supplemental section. So, if you print out this year’s common application, and fill it out, along with filling out the UC application, you’ll be about half done with your college applications, since you can just transcribe most of the information onto the 2015 forms.

Article 9: Post High School Planning

High school graduation can be one of life’s most important milestones. Or, on the other hand, it can be just another stepping stone toward one’s chosen goal.

It is essential for each student to start thinking early about what he or she will be doing after high school graduation. Depending on the student’s goals, the time-table for when to start post-high school planning varies dramatically. Whereas some options may be considered as late as senior year, other options call for some decisions to be made as early as middle school.

What do you see yourself doing after you graduate? What career do you wish to pursue? Finding a job you enjoy and/or doing something which will make you feel fulfilled are keys to a happy life.

1. You can get a job right out of high school.

2. You can become an apprentice in one of the trades, working toward being a plumber, electrician or heating specialist. You can also learn to be a hair stylist or become an apprentice in other areas of health and beauty care.

3. You can join the military. If you chose this option, there is a very good chance you will be involved in military action overseas, so keep this in mind when considering enlisting.

4. You can attend a technical institute, art school or business college for additional training such as Embry-Riddle for training in aeronautical careers, Heald or DeVry for business and technology or the California Culinary Academy where you can learn to be a chef. If you are artistic, you might want to explore a career in fine art, industrial design, photography, animation, fashion or interior design at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. There are several other fine arts schools in California, such as Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara or the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena.

5. You can attend a two-year program at a community college, either ending up with a two-year degree in a field such as veterinary technician, radiology technology or dental hygiene, or you can opt for the two-year “transfer track,” completing the requirements to transfer into a UC or CSU or private college as a junior. There are over 100 community colleges in California.

6. You can matriculate directly into a four-year college. This option requires different degrees of effort and excellence, depending on the demands of the target institution. It is typically easier to get into a CSU (California State University) school (with some exceptions, notably some sought-after majors at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo) than into a UC (University of California) school. There are 23 CSU schools in California and 10 UC schools, including UC Merced, which is the newest UC campus. Some private schools accept almost anyone willing to pay their tuition fees. And some private schools, such at Stanford and the Ivy League Universities (Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, the University of Pennsylvania, Princeton and Yale), require stellar grades, high SAT scores, community service and compelling personal qualities. This is where long-range planning comes in.

It is imperative to be realistic and mindful that your being a “good match” with your future plans or future college is paramount. Don’t sell yourself short, but don’t expect to attend an Ivy League school with a 3.0 high school G.P.A. (grade point average). In the meantime, for the college-bound, I strongly recommend reading The Fiske Guide to the Colleges 2015.

Note to a student just finishing his junior year:

What to do during the summer between junior and senior years:

As you recall, I want you to read, in the Fiske Guide 2015, about all the schools mentioned in the last email I sent you. Then, with your parents’ help, I want you to pick the schools to which you plan to apply. You might as well apply to all six UCs on the list and all 3 CSUs too, since you can use the same application for each group of schools (and the only difference is a fee for every college in each system, but, in the scheme of things, it’s a bargain). So I suggest applying to about 8 – 10 additional colleges, which will be 16 to 18 applications in all (but only one application form needs to be filled out for any number of UC schools and also one form for any number of CSU schools, so it is not as daunting as task as it may appear). Be aware that you should include several “fallback” or “sure thing” colleges on your apply-to list, because a few students who neglect doing this end up being admitted no where! Many of the other colleges use the common application, so it’s not as much work as it once was, although some colleges also require a supplemental section to be filled out specifically for their school.

1. Print out a hard copy of this year’s UC application.

2. Print out a hard copy of this year’s Common Application

3. Print out a hard copy of this year’s CSU application

4. Email or call all the colleges on your final list (except for CSUs and UCs) and request a hard copy of their viewbook.

5. If any of these schools has next year’s application on their website, print them out. If they have this year’s only, still print it out, if possible (as applications usually don’t vary much year to year for the same school).

6. Own the process. Please do all of the application downloading and the emailing and calling colleges yourself. Do not have your parents do these things for you (I doubt if they would anyway, but it always surprises me how many parents take this important job away from their offspring and appropriate what should be their child’s responsibility!). Write your own essay. Fill out your own applications. I will give you both guidance and feedback after you have the applications filled out and the essay written.

Here are the 8 things on which college application readers focus, in order of what I perceive to be the most important:

Grades

Difficultly of coursework (AP and Honors)

ACT and SAT test results

Teachers’ and counselors’ ratings and written information about the student

Essays

Activities, including sports, clubs, awards, etc.

Volunteer work/Community Service

Demonstration of energetic, enthusiastic passion for learning (which the essay can highlight, plus the awards, activities, and community service. Stanford considers this the key factor in deciding to admit the students that pass muster on the grades/coursework/test score part of the application).

Some interesting, informative articles from the New York Times:

“Why are colleges so selective?”

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2010/09/12/why-are-colleges-so-selective/lessons-learned

“College applications: fill in the blanks”

“College applicants: Before you hit ‘send,’ proofread”


Perspective

from an article I just read…

will file under ‘parenting’ just in case i need a reference later on…

Amy Murray is the director of early childhood education at the Calgary French & International School in Canada. The following post, which appeared on her blog, Miss Night’s Marbles and which I am republishing with her permission, is a powerful open letter directed to parents about THAT kid, the one other kids go home and talk about, the one who is violent, curses and gets angry in class, the one who parents worry will hurt, disrupt and perhaps influence their own children.

Dear Parent:

I know. You’re worried. Every day, your child comes home with a story about THAT kid. The one who is always hitting, shoving, pinching, scratching, maybe even biting other children. The one who always has to hold my hand in the hallway. The one who has a special spot at the carpet, and sometimes sits on a chair rather than the floor. The one who had to leave the block center because blocks are not for throwing. The one who climbed over the playground fence right exactly as I was telling her to stop. The one who poured his neighbor’s milk onto the floor in a fit of anger. On purpose. While I was watching.  And then, when I asked him to clean it up, emptied the ENTIRE paper towel dispenser. On purpose. While I was watching. The one who dropped the REAL ACTUAL F-word in gym class.

You’re worried that THAT child is detracting from your child’s learning experience. You’re worried that he takes up too much of my time and energy, and that your child won’t get his fair share. You’re worried that she is really going to hurt someone some day. You’re worried that “someone” might be your child. You’re worried that your child is going to start using aggression to get what she wants. You’re worried your child is going to fall behind academically because I might not notice that he is struggling to hold a pencil. I know.

Your child, this year, in this classroom, at this age, is not THAT child. Your child is not perfect, but she generally follows rules. He is able to share toys peaceably. She does not throw furniture. He raises his hand to speak. She works when it is time to work, and  plays when it is time to play. He can be trusted to go straight to the bathroom and straight back again with no shenanigans. She thinks that the S-word is “stupid” and the C-word is “crap.” I know.

I know, and I am worried, too.

You see, I worry all the time. About ALL of them. I worry about your child’s pencil grip, and another child’s letter sounds, and that little tiny one’s shyness, and that other one’s chronically empty lunchbox. I worry that Gavin’s coat is not warm enough, and that Talitha’s dad yells at her for printing the letter B backwards. Most of my car rides and showers are consumed with the worrying.

But I know, you want to talk about THAT child. Because Talitha’s backward B’s are not going to give your child a black eye.

I want to talk about THAT child, too, but there are so many things I can’t tell you.

I can’t tell you that she was adopted from an orphanage at 18 months.

I can’t tell you that he is on an elimination diet for possible food allergies, and that he is therefore hungry ALL. THE. TIME.

I can’t tell you that her parents are in the middle of a horrendous divorce, and she has been staying with her grandma.

I can’t tell you that I’m starting to worry that grandma drinks


I can’t tell you that his asthma medication makes him agitated.

I can’t tell you that her mom is a single parent, and so she (the child) is at school from the moment before-care opens, until the moment after-care closes, and then the drive between home and school takes 40 minutes, and so she (the child) is getting less sleep than most adults.

I can’ tell you that he has been a witness to domestic violence.

That’s okay, you say. You understand I can’t share personal or family information. You just want to know what I am DOING about That Child’s behaviour.

I would love to tell you. But I can’t.

I can’t tell you that she receives speech-language services, that an assessment showed a severe language delay, and that the therapist feels the aggression is linked to frustration about being unable to communicate.

I can’t tell you that I meet with his parents EVERY week, and that both of them usually cry at those meetings.

I can’t tell you that the child and I have a secret hand signal to tell me when she needs to sit by herself for a while.

I can’t tell you that he spends rest time curled in my lap because “it makes me feel better to hear your heart, Teacher.”

I can’t tell you that I have been meticulously tracking her aggressive incidents for 3 months, and that she has dropped from 5 incidents a day, to 5 incidents a week.
You may find relaxation techniques are helpful. – If you have been searching for the answer on “how to stop premature ejaculation naturally”, you must first understand the root of all evils. canada viagra prescription No matter what type of chronic prostatitis can be found out through the brand cialis 20mg examination of the size, hardness, character, tenderness of prostatitis. When we are lopsided integrating more of one type of stretches that work well to control back pain are called McKenzie exercises. discount generic viagra The differential diagnosis is important to distinguish between two types of initial contacts: One requested by a parent and the other by the staff. levitra 10mg
I can’t tell you that the school secretary has agreed that I can send him to the office to “help” when I can tell he needs a change of scenery.

I can’t tell you that I have stood up in a staff meeting and, with tears in my eyes, BEGGED my colleagues to keep an extra close eye on her, to be kind to her even when they are frustrated that she just punched someone AGAIN, and this time, RIGHT IN FRONT OF A TEACHER.

The thing is, there are SO MANY THINGS I can’t tell you about That Child. I can’t even tell you the good stuff.

I can’t tell you that his classroom job is to water the plants, and that he cried with heartbreak when one of the plants died over winter break.

I can’t tell you that she kisses her baby sister goodbye every morning, and whispers “You are my sunshine” before mom pushes the stroller away.

I can’t tell you that he knows more about thunderstorms than most meteorologists.

I can’t tell you that she often asks to help sharpen the pencils during playtime.

I can’t tell you that she strokes her best friend’s hair at rest time.

I can’t tell you that when a classmate is crying, he rushes over with his favorite stuffy from the story corner.

The thing is, dear parent, that I can only talk to you about YOUR child. So, what I can tell you is this:

If ever, at any point, YOUR child, or any of your children, becomes THAT child


I will not share your personal family business with other parents in the classroom.

I will communicate with you frequently, clearly, and kindly.

I will make sure there are tissues nearby at all our meetings, and if you let me, I will hold your hand when you cry.

I will advocate for your child and family to receive the highest quality of specialist services, and I will cooperate with those professionals to the fullest possible extent.

I will make sure your child gets extra love and affection when she needs it most.

I will be a voice for your child in our school community.

I will, no matter what happens, continue to look for, and to find, the good, amazing, special, and wonderful things about your child.

I will remind him and YOU of those good amazing special wonderful things, over and over again.

And when another parent comes to me, with concerns about YOUR child


I will tell them all of this, all over again.

 

With so much love,

Teacher

Perspective

from an article I just read… will file under ‘parenting’ just in case i need a reference later on…

Amy Murray is the director of early childhood education at the Calgary French & International School in Canada. The following post, which appeared on her blog, Miss Night’s Marbles and which I am republishing with her permission, is a powerful open letter directed to parents about THAT kid, the one other kids go home and talk about, the one who is violent, curses and gets angry in class, the one who parents worry will hurt, disrupt and perhaps influence their own children.
online purchase of cialis http://nakatsumassagewellness.com/levitra-6287.html The effect of it starts in an hour and the effect will not go down before 4 hours. In this kind of treatment the patient is given complete counseling about sexual practice so that he can develop online viagra http://nakatsumassagewellness.com/ a new confidence. Caffeine sources were soda, tea, coffee, and free viagra on line sports or energy drinks. Today, men are increasingly looking for drugs that treat sexually transmitted diseases and diseases caused online sildenafil india by improper hygiene of genital areas.
Dear Parent: I know. You’re worried. Every day, your child comes home with a story about THAT kid. The one who is always hitting, shoving, pinching, scratching, maybe even biting other children. The one who always has to hold my hand in the hallway. The one who has a special spot at the carpet, and sometimes sits on a chair rather than the floor. The one who had to leave the block center because blocks are not for throwing. The one who climbed over the playground fence right exactly as I was telling her to stop. The one who poured his neighbor’s milk onto the floor in a fit of anger. On purpose. While I was watching.  And then, when I asked him to clean it up, emptied the ENTIRE paper towel dispenser. On purpose. While I was watching. The one who dropped the REAL ACTUAL F-word in gym class. You’re worried that THAT child is detracting from your child’s learning experience. You’re worried that he takes up too much of my time and energy, and that your child won’t get his fair share. You’re worried that she is really going to hurt someone some day. You’re worried that “someone” might be your child. You’re worried that your child is going to start using aggression to get what she wants. You’re worried your child is going to fall behind academically because I might not notice that he is struggling to hold a pencil. I know. Your child, this year, in this classroom, at this age, is not THAT child. Your child is not perfect, but she generally follows rules. He is able to share toys peaceably. She does not throw furniture. He raises his hand to speak. She works when it is time to work, and  plays when it is time to play. He can be trusted to go straight to the bathroom and straight back again with no shenanigans. She thinks that the S-word is “stupid” and the C-word is “crap.” I know. I know, and I am worried, too. You see, I worry all the time. About ALL of them. I worry about your child’s pencil grip, and another child’s letter sounds, and that little tiny one’s shyness, and that other one’s chronically empty lunchbox. I worry that Gavin’s coat is not warm enough, and that Talitha’s dad yells at her for printing the letter B backwards. Most of my car rides and showers are consumed with the worrying. But I know, you want to talk about THAT child. Because Talitha’s backward B’s are not going to give your child a black eye. I want to talk about THAT child, too, but there are so many things I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you that she was adopted from an orphanage at 18 months. I can’t tell you that he is on an elimination diet for possible food allergies, and that he is therefore hungry ALL. THE. TIME. I can’t tell you that her parents are in the middle of a horrendous divorce, and she has been staying with her grandma. I can’t tell you that I’m starting to worry that grandma drinks
 I can’t tell you that his asthma medication makes him agitated. I can’t tell you that her mom is a single parent, and so she (the child) is at school from the moment before-care opens, until the moment after-care closes, and then the drive between home and school takes 40 minutes, and so she (the child) is getting less sleep than most adults. I can’ tell you that he has been a witness to domestic violence. That’s okay, you say. You understand I can’t share personal or family information. You just want to know what I am DOING about That Child’s behaviour. I would love to tell you. But I can’t. I can’t tell you that she receives speech-language services, that an assessment showed a severe language delay, and that the therapist feels the aggression is linked to frustration about being unable to communicate. I can’t tell you that I meet with his parents EVERY week, and that both of them usually cry at those meetings. I can’t tell you that the child and I have a secret hand signal to tell me when she needs to sit by herself for a while. I can’t tell you that he spends rest time curled in my lap because “it makes me feel better to hear your heart, Teacher.” I can’t tell you that I have been meticulously tracking her aggressive incidents for 3 months, and that she has dropped from 5 incidents a day, to 5 incidents a week. I can’t tell you that the school secretary has agreed that I can send him to the office to “help” when I can tell he needs a change of scenery. I can’t tell you that I have stood up in a staff meeting and, with tears in my eyes, BEGGED my colleagues to keep an extra close eye on her, to be kind to her even when they are frustrated that she just punched someone AGAIN, and this time, RIGHT IN FRONT OF A TEACHER. The thing is, there are SO MANY THINGS I can’t tell you about That Child. I can’t even tell you the good stuff. I can’t tell you that his classroom job is to water the plants, and that he cried with heartbreak when one of the plants died over winter break. I can’t tell you that she kisses her baby sister goodbye every morning, and whispers “You are my sunshine” before mom pushes the stroller away. I can’t tell you that he knows more about thunderstorms than most meteorologists. I can’t tell you that she often asks to help sharpen the pencils during playtime. I can’t tell you that she strokes her best friend’s hair at rest time. I can’t tell you that when a classmate is crying, he rushes over with his favorite stuffy from the story corner. The thing is, dear parent, that I can only talk to you about YOUR child. So, what I can tell you is this: If ever, at any point, YOUR child, or any of your children, becomes THAT child
 I will not share your personal family business with other parents in the classroom. I will communicate with you frequently, clearly, and kindly. I will make sure there are tissues nearby at all our meetings, and if you let me, I will hold your hand when you cry. I will advocate for your child and family to receive the highest quality of specialist services, and I will cooperate with those professionals to the fullest possible extent. I will make sure your child gets extra love and affection when she needs it most. I will be a voice for your child in our school community. I will, no matter what happens, continue to look for, and to find, the good, amazing, special, and wonderful things about your child. I will remind him and YOU of those good amazing special wonderful things, over and over again. And when another parent comes to me, with concerns about YOUR child
 I will tell them all of this, all over again.   With so much love, Teacher

Technology

Michelle referred me to an article I’d seen but hadn’t opened about technology and kids.  I’d remembered hearing the “TV” warning and tried to keep Brandon away until after 2 years old.  Of course, by the time Peyton was born, Brandon was well over 2, and she got her dose much earlier.

My friend, Alexa, a pre-school teacher, and low-tech advocate for books, reminded me it’s not just “TV” it’s all screens – phones, computer, TV.   Back when Brandon was younger, we didn’t have an ipad and my phone was just getting smart.  By the time Peyton came around, phones were even smarter, and ipads started to come about.  She thinks it’s a shame to have computer-reading for kinders!  The kids are limited on the weekends, though Dave’s usually watching some sports on tv.  Seems those have the most violent commercials, viagra stores in canada Foods rich in zinc include wheat germ, oysters, milk full fat, chick peas, rye, lamb, crab cooked, roast beef, chicken breast, cheese, fish, cooked brown rice, low fat yogurt, canned baked beans, cashews, pine nuts, pumpkin seeds, shrimp, almonds, pecans, brazil nuts, sesame seeds, almonds, spinach, kidney beans, flax seeds, lima beans, garlic, watermelon seeds, salmon, turkey, lobster, dark chocolate and mushrooms. These also interfere with the working of Tadalafil of greyandgrey.com generic cialis prices. We believe pfizer viagra sales that a new standard has to be kept at a room temperature where there is not enough blood supply to the bones. Be gentle with your words to all you greet and to everyone on line cialis browse around this now at work. so I usually discourage the kids from being in the room most of the time.  Or he’s quick on the remote.  Peyton definitely seems more attached to electronics than Brandon. I will often find her sneaking a peek at my phone, unlocking it to play games, or youtube.  Brandon will mostly use the computer for homework, and otherwise could care less.  We haven’t had to worry about his usage of late.  Video games haven’t really been an issue lately either, as out of sight, out of mind (I put all the figurines away for skylanders).  We’ve been taking electronics away from Peyton on bad days, so we’ll use that as an incentive for her, as this may be one of the few things that she will respond.  Just like anything else, we need to use technology for good, not evil 🙂

Parenting Article

Thanks to Michelle and Ted for sending this one to us…

http://qz.com/165716/how-i-made-sure-all-12-of-my-kids-could-pay-for-college-themselves/

if only we did half of this stuff!!  And we have 1/6 the number of kids they did!  But definitely the last paragraph applies.  Because I know we’re not Brandon’s best friends.  We’re too strict 😉

 

My wife and I had 12 children over the course of 15 1/2 years. Today, our oldest is 37 and our youngest is 22.  I have always had a very prosperous job and enough money to give my kids almost anything. But my wife and I decided not to.

I will share with you the things that we did, but first let me tell you the results: All 12 of my children have college degrees (or are in school), and we as parents did not pay for it. Most have graduate degrees. Those who are married have wonderful spouses with the same ethics and college degrees, too. We have 18 grandchildren who are learning the same things that our kids learned—self respect, gratitude, and a desire to give back to society.

We raised our family in Utah, Florida, and California; my wife and I now live in Colorado. In March, we will have been married 40 years. I attribute the love between us as a part of our success with the children. They see a stable home life with a commitment that does not have compromises.

Here’s what we did right (we got plenty wrong, too, but that’s another list):

Chores

  • Kids had to perform chores from age 3. A 3-year-old does not clean toilets very well but by the time he is 4, it’s a reasonably good job.
  • They got allowances based on how they did the chores for the week.
  • We had the children wash their own clothes by the time they turned 8. We assigned them a wash day.
  • When they started reading, they had to make dinner by reading a recipe. They also had to learn to double a recipe.
  • The boys and girls had to learn to sew.

We overnight shipping cialis are here to be a witness of god’s love. The pill has to be consumed with the process to suit the user’s medical health, age This site generic viagra online and consumption convenience. People favour the internet based programs since teens will attend these programs during and after school wholesale cialis pills classes from home. Sildamax is the sole medicine popular in almost all countries for providing assured results in the treatment of erectile cialis 20 mg dysfunction.

Study time

Education was very important in our family.

  • We had study time from 6 to 8pm every week day. No television, computer, games, or other activities until the two hours were up. If they had no homework, then they read books. For those too young to be in school, we had someone read books to them. After the two hours, they could do whatever they wanted as long as they were in by curfew.
  • All the kids were required to take every Advanced Placement class there was. We did not let entrance scores be an impediment. We went to the school and demanded our kids be let in. Then we, as parents, spent the time to ensure they had the understanding to pass the class. After the first child, the school learned that we kept our promise that the kids could handle the AP classes.
  • If children would come home and say that a teacher hated them or was not fair, our response was that you need to find a way to get along. You need find a way to learn the material because in real life, you may have a boss that does not like you. We would not enable children to “blame” the teacher for not learning, but place the responsibility for learning the material back on the child. Of course, we were alongside them for two hours of study a day, for them to ask for help anytime.

Picky eaters not allowed

  • We all ate dinner and breakfast together. Breakfast was at 5:15am and then the children had to do chores before school. Dinner was at 5:30pm.
  • More broadly, food was interesting. We wanted a balanced diet, but hated it when we were young and parents made us eat all our food. Sometimes we were full and just did not want to eat anymore. Our rule was to give the kids the food they hated most first (usually vegetables) and then they got the next type of food. They did not have to eat it and could leave the table. If later they complained they were hungry, we would get out that food they did not want to eat, warm it up in the microwave, and provide it to them. Again, they did not have to eat it. But they got no other food until the next meal unless they ate it.
  • We did not have snacks between meals. We always had the four food groups (meat, dairy, grain, fruits and vegetables) and nearly always had dessert of some kind. To this day, our kids are not afraid to try different foods, and have no allergies to foods. They try all kinds of new foods and eat only until they are full. Not one of our kids is even a little bit heavy. They are thin, athletic, and very healthy. With 12 kids, you would think that at least one would have some food allergies or food special needs. (I am not a doctor.)

Extracurriculars

  • All kids had to play some kind of sport. They got to choose, but choosing none was not an option. We started them in grade school. We did not care if it was swimming, football, baseball, fencing, tennis, etc. and did not care if they chose to change sports. But they had to play something.
  • All kids had to be in some kind of club: Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, history, drama, etc.
  • They were required to provide community service. We would volunteer within our community and at church. For Eagle Scout projects, we would have the entire family help. Once we collected old clothes and took them to Mexico and passed them out. The kids saw what life was like for many families and how their collections made them so happy and made a difference.

Independence

  • When the kids turned 16, we bought each a car. The first one learned what that meant. As the tow truck pulled a once “new” car into the driveway, my oldest proclaimed: “Dad, it is a wreck!” I said, “Yes, but a 1965 Mustang fastback wreck. Here are the repair manuals. Tools are in the garage. I will pay for every part, but will not pay for LABOR.” Eleven months later, the car had a rebuilt engine, rebuilt transmission, newly upholstered interior, a new suspension system, and a new coat of paint. My daughter (yes, it was my daughter) had one of the hottest cars at high school. And her pride that she built it was beyond imaginable. (As a side note, none of my kids ever got a ticket for speeding, even though no car had less than 450 horsepower.)
  • We as parents allowed kids to make mistakes. Five years before the 16th birthday and their “new” car gift, they had to help out with our family cars. Once I asked my son, Samuel, to change the oil and asked if he needed help or instruction. “No, Dad, I can do it.” An hour later, he came in and said, “Dad, does it take 18 quarts of oil to change the oil?”  I asked where did he put 18 quarts of oil when normally only five were needed. His response: “That big screw on top at the front of the engine.”  I said “You mean the radiator?” Well, he did not get into trouble for filling the radiator with oil. He had to drain it, we bought a radiator flush, put in new radiator fluid, and then he had to change the real oil. We did not ground him or give him any punishment for doing it “wrong.” We let the lesson be the teaching tool. Our children are not afraid to try something new.  They were trained that if they do something wrong they will not get punished. It often cost us more money, but we were raising kids, not saving money.
  • The kids each got their own computer, but had to build it. I bought the processor, memory, power supply, case, keyboard, hard drive, motherboard, and mouse. They had to put it together and load the software on. This started when they were 12.
  • We let the children make their own choices, but limited. For example, do you want to go to bed now or clean your room? Rarely, did we give directives that were one way, unless it dealt with living the agreed-upon family rules. This let the child feel that she had some control over life.

In it together

  • We required the children to help each other. When a fifth grader is required to read 30 minutes a day, and a first grader is required to be read to 30 minutes a day, have one sit next to the other and read. Those in high school calculus tutored those in algebra or grade-school math.
  • We assigned an older child to a younger child to teach them and help them accomplish their weekly chores.
  • We let the children be a part of making the family rules. For example, the kids wanted the rule that no toys were allowed in the family room. The toys had to stay either in the bedroom or playroom. In addition to their chores, they had to all clean their bedroom every day (or just keep it clean in the first place). These were rules that the children wanted. We gave them a chance each month to amend or create new rules. Mom and Dad had veto power of course.
  • We tried to be always consistent. If they had to study two hours every night, we did not make an exception to it. Curfew was 10pm during school nights and midnight on non-school nights. There were no exceptions to the rules.

Vacation policy

  • We would take family vacations every summer for two or three weeks. We could afford a hotel, or cruise, but did not choose those options. We went camping and backpacking. If it rained, then we would figure out how to backpack in the rain and survive. We would set up a base camp at a site with five or six tents, and I would take all kids age 6 or older on a three- to five-day backpack trip. My wife would stay with the little ones. Remember, for 15 years, she was either pregnant or just had a baby. My kids and I hiked across the Grand Canyon, to the top of Mount Whitney, across the Continental Divide, across Yosemite.
  • We would send kids via airplane to relatives in Europe or across the US for two or three weeks at a time. We started this when they were in kindergarten. It would take special treatment for the airlines to take a 5-year-old alone on the plane and required people on the other end to have special documentation. We only sent the kids if they wanted to go. However, with the younger ones seeing the older ones travel, they wanted to go. The kids learned from an early age that we, as parents, were always there for them, but would let them grow their own wings and fly.

Money and materialism

  • Even though we have sufficient money, we have not helped the children buy homes, pay for education, pay for weddings (yes, we do not pay for weddings either). We have provided extensive information on how to do it or how to buy rental units and use equity to grow wealth. We do not “give” things to our children but we give them information and teach them “how” to do things. We have helped them with contacts in corporations, but they have to do the interviews and “earn” the jobs.
  • We give birthday and Christmas presents to the kids. We would play Santa Claus but as they got older, and would ask about it, we would not lie.  We would say it is a game we play and it is fun. We did and do have lists for items that each child would like for presents. Then everyone can see what they want. With the internet, it is easy to send such lists around to the children and grandchildren. Still, homemade gifts are often the favorite of all.

The real world

  • We loved the children regardless of what they did. But would not prevent consequences of any of their actions. We let them suffer consequences and would not try to mitigate the consequences because we saw them suffering. We would cry and be sad, but would not do anything to reduce the consequences of their actions.

We were and are not our kids’ best friends.  We were their parents.